The lady in the office behind me is clipping her nails. She does it once a day....all I can think is that she has really fast growing nails.
so in the spirit of rut-getting-out-of, I have decided to try a few things. Just a warning: some of these things I have tried before....and obviously not finished. But whatever, it's fun!
1. blog seriously. No easy peasy vox blogging. I think I will design my own site and keep tabs on all my craft/food/life projects.
2. write a book. or novella. I'm no good at fiction, so we'll see how a book based on my own experiences comes out (I've tried this before..ha!)
3. frequent the library and powell's. I need to surround myself with words. I'm starting school in January so I think that going to the library to study might help me beat off the try-to-stay-awake studying blahs.
4. take more pictures! I realize that I've completed dozens of projects with no photo documentation at all. egad!
with all that said this weekend is a good time to start it all. Everyone is out of town or busy and I have sat and sun to myself to begin all the fun. I guess I could start today considering no one is at work and I'm sitting here just waiting for an email to arrive....any email...anything to keep me busy....ugh.
I hate to complain. As much as it seems like I like it I don't. I feel like there's been a lot to complain about lately and I've been holding it in. Now my back hurts. As if all the stuff I need to get out is hiding out in my shoulders and neck. It's awesome. And by awesome I mean it sucks.
Part of me wishes that I could go back to being ignorant, to being how I've always been and not challenging myself. It's really hard to make positive changes when the way you've been is justifiable and comfortable. The hardest part is making those changes while everyone around you stays the same. You start to look at them all in a different way and reevaluate your friendships based on what they bring to the table. Sadly, in most cases they bring their baggage and negativity because that's what friends are for right? It's a hard line to walk.
So how to I keep to the positive changes and save my back from aching? I don't know.
So my boss and I were talking this morning about politics. This is always a risky endevor for me because I know very little about politics, only what I catch on NPR...which, let's face it, isn't much. I usually just listen for fresh air and car talk. Regardless, I dove head first into this conversation and my boss made a great point. The US, as a whole, is going to find itself following in Europe's footsteps very soon. We're not going to be the world super power. We're already there....we've become unliked, untrusted, basically annoying to the world. I'm annoying myself! So what happens? Neither one of us could say, but we both agreed it would be a good thing. It already seems that the white house is tossing Bush aside and making some positive progress on it's own (I mean let's face it...he's almost gone!).
Anyway, I'm not going to elaborate on this whole thing because, again, my knowledge of politics is in the range of "below average".
In other entertaining and sad news my office mate had some kind of dental procedure this morning and she is sitting at her desk feeling around in her numb mouth with her tongue, which just so happens to make her look like a drunken sailor. It's awesome.
one more hour of work. whoooooop!
I think all the moving, drama, holiday stress and life in general has caught up with me. I'm just tired. emotionally. It's not a fun place, but today was the first day this week that I felt like I was getting a good deep breath of air. Maybe it's because I rode my bike to work. That I had 35 minutes of concentrated clarity this morning. Or maybe it's just the calm before the storm, who knows.
It's not just me. Everyone seems to be on edge. Like some big mobius strip of downtrodden grumpiness. I'm all for wallowing...but you can only justify so many days of wallowing. People are pushing it with their wallowing. I'm trying my best to not be one of them.
The sad thing is that when you do feel like wallowing for more days than you should you have to pretend that you're fine, laugh at things you don't really feel like laughing at. For a while it just feels contrite, but eventually you feel better...if even for a moment.
I decided, in the spirit of forcing myself NOT to wallow I will make a list of things I'm looking forward to today:
- ANTM finale!
- Seattle show tomorrow night
- bike ride with the bro after work
- snuggling with Bea
- knitting more and more presents!
so there.
I'm sitting here looking out the window thinking. Wow, it's beautiful outside. But then I think if I was not at work I would be at home, in the dungeon putting away all the miscellaneous boxes of crap that are still laying about. At least I'm getting paid at work.
So the little kitten who found a home at my apartment seems to have made herself a bit of a permanent fixture for the time being. I looked up the kind of breed she might be and she looks like a cross between a Chartreux and a Blue Russian. Both breeds being extremely rare it's unlikely she is really either, but she does have a wooly coat, so I'm saying she's Chartreux. Now Chartreux kittens born in the same year all have the same first letter of their name (for 2006 it was A for 2007 it's B and so on). It's apparently some kind of old tradition. This made my job of naming her a bit easier. I settled on Bernadette because it means "brave as a bear" (she looks like a little bear), but the name Beatrix kept leaping out at me. Every time I would suggest Bernadette to someone they would instantly say, "what about Beatrix?". So there you have it. Beatrix it is!
I'm really really trying to be more earth friendly and therefore budget friendly. The bus is great. My bike is better. The cold and rainy weather have made me lazy on both accounts. staying home and knitting by candlelight is awesome as is reading at Powell's. Both activities I need to do more of instead of watching TV.
I have to get my boss and our accountant something for christmas. It has to be 5 dollars or under. I already made gifts for two of the ladies in the office, so I figure I should make something for the other two. I think I will do a rice/lavender hot pack for my boss (he has a painful knee), but man....our accountant...what do you get the grumpiest person alive? If I could can some sunshine I would...but, the only thing I know about her is she has an obsession with the food we order for seminars and her two beagles are her kids. Homemade doggie treats???
It really is nice outside.
