I turned 26 last week. It was relatively eventful, and by that I mean relative to my more recent birthdays. I'm getting too old to remain interested in prolonged celebrations when there's so much damn work to do. Instead I surrounded myself with some of my favorite friends and drank a few.
The strange thing about this all however is that it all seems so similar to last year's birthday. Another eventful summer of emotional excitement is plummeting into the uncertainty of fall. I pray the lonliness of last fall/winter does not repeat itself. I've got ahold now, and I must keep hold.
The picture above is from Paper Brain's video shoot today. I'll show you later...
It is with great shame that I must confess that I have never taken the time to really give Billy Bragg's music a listen. But I've long been familiar with his politics, and I always admire an artist who isn't afraid to infuse their socio-political ideology into their craft. It is in this sense that I admire Billy Bragg a great deal, despite having listened to fewer than ten of his songs.
He notably chose to remove his songs from his myspace page in the past because he felt the terms and conditions of MySpace were suggesting that any content a user (or in his case, the music owned by a musician) uploads to the site then becomes, in effect, the property of MySpace and they are then free to use it as they will. His protest contributed to a widespread response against MySpace's terms and conditions and they were subsequently changed.
More recently, I have read (around the internet) that he had spoken at SXSW about the difficulty artists face in making a living as musicians in the internet age. I was glancing through last Saturday's New York Times when I came across an editorially written by Billy Bragg about this very subject, entitled The Royalty Scam.
To paraphrase what I gleaned from the article, Bragg asserts (and I agree with him, though I still see other benefits to having a MySpace page for my music) that these websites, such as MySpace, which allow users to upload their music are benefiting from this content (vis-a-vis advertising revenue) which encourages more viewers and users to come to MySpace (e.g.) to listen to bands' music, and are doing so without paying the artists any royalties.
I'll let Bragg complete this point:
The claim that sites such as MySpace and Bebo are doing us a favor by promoting our work is disingenuous. Radio stations also promote our work, but they pay us a royalty that recognizes our contribution to their business. Why should that not apply to the Internet, too?
This is an idea that I had never really given much consideration to in the past, but I must say that after reading this, I agree. Again, I see other benefits to having my music on MySpace, namely the immediate accessibility for and to fans, old and new. MySpace has allowed by of my bands to expand its fan base and form new connections and gain valuable resources which has led to much growth. There is an amazing grassroots aesthetic for lower-tier independent bands, or bands signed to small indie labels, and it's just convenient to have access to such a wide range of resources within just a few clicks.
However, this does not negate Bragg's point: these websites are benefiting from having other artists' work as free and feature content accessible to anyone, with or without an account. This brings me to a couple of points I want to raise:
1) While the benefit to this may be miniscule in scope for one or two small-time music acts (I'll use my bands an an example), when you look at smaller acts as a collective whole, that's still an exorbitant amount of viewers and visitors that are confronted with advertising (which is where these websites really make their money). In fact, on MySpace, advertisements are the very first thing on the page. Just look at Paper Brain's MySpace page if you don't believe me. We don't have TOO many daily visitors, but each of them are exposed to the ads, and at some point, someone will click on one of those ads. Multiply this by god knows how many bands are on MySpace who have one of these someone's.
2) Take this point and expand it to more widely known bands who get thousands of hits each day on their MySpace page. Let's just use Radiohead as an example: at the time of this writing, they have had nearly 20,000 unique song plays today. I'm no statistics junkie, but I'd venture a guess that they had about, at a minimum, 10,000 visitors today. Imagine how much money MySpace makes daily in advertising revenue from Radiohead's MySpace page alone. And does Radiohead see a dime of that from MySpace and the folks at NewsCorp.? Nope. Not even close. And why not? As Bragg points out in his editorial, radio stations pay artists royalties for using their music because the radio stations are making money by using artists' music to draw listeners who then are exposed to advertisements in very much the same way that MySpace and it's ilk are doing. Something seems amiss...
The question then is what do we do about it? Unfortunately, I don't have much of an answer. For me, I feel very conflicted. Perhaps the benefits that I speak of are merely an illusion -- or as Bragg says, disingenuous. Afterall bands existed and succeeded on just as small of a scale as they are now well before MySpace came along. Perhaps the MySpace dillema has made it even worse for artists by flooding the market, so to speak, with a particular commodity (in this case, music) which has made it more difficult for the most "well-deserving" artists to obtain the attention of the people they mean and need to to help them succeed. Indeed, it would seem that I am in a one-sided relationship with MySpace afterall, and not the symbiotic one that I have been led to believe (though much fault and naiveity of my own.) But again -- what do I do about it? While I'm now more aware of this exploitation and denial of rights by MySpace, I don't quite feel exploited just yet. Perhaps its a mild indifference, but I just don't see myself bowing out just yet. But I'm an idealist more than a pragmatist (not to an extreme, though...), so I wouldn't be surprised to see myself removing myself from this machine, because, really, it isn't right. Whenever anyone benefits financially from the inclusion and use of an artist's work, that artist should be compensated in tangible and real terms, not in vague and empty promises of the benefits that comes from exposure to new fans and influencial people -- a promise which, given the current climate, is a very unlikely outcome for the vast majority of artists who choose to participate in this system.
To read the rest of Billy Bragg's editorial, The Royalty Scam, simply jump on over to it at NYTimes.com
And speaking of Radiohead, listen to this song, because it's been suck in my head for four days now:
So I know I shouldn't post this yet, but since these people never see this particular blog I will post a few of the gifts I have been making for people.
This one is for my friend Naheed. I am hoping she will like it- this stuff was a lot of fun to make.
I made a woodburned wall plaque (of her and her man), a pair of feather horse earrings (because she likes horses), and a scarf with an anchor for her man (she told me he likes anchors). I am really proud of it- It's her birthday/holidays/wedding gift, haha.
This one I did for my friend Rachel. I am making similar ones for some of the super awesome girls in my life. I hope they like them.
And I will post more as I get to them.
We are having a martini party this Friday so I have been busting ass to get everything done. We rearranged our whole living room and now it is starting to look pretty good. There is so much more space!
Chris took me to Ali Babas last night for dinner. That is my favorite restaurant in Knoxville. I pretty much live there these days (definitely has been good to us since we first moved up). Everyone is so friendly to us and the food is awesome (I love my Lebanese cuisine)!
Hope everyone has a good holiday!
What's your favorite thing to drink when it's cold outside?
Republic of Tea chai, freshly mulled apple cider, or hazelnut truffle hot chocolate.
Show us what winter means to you.
If you could perform alongside any artist (actor, dancer, musician, etc.), who would it be, and what would you perform?
Submitted by Kristin.
Well, that is a hard question.
I and my huband were fortunate enough to play alongside some of the people from a few of our favorite bands (Love as Laughter, Modest Mouse, and ManMan), even if it was only because our friend Naheed (the lead singer of Modest Mouse's fiancee) got us in and then only because we all decided to go play music (you could call it that although it was generally everyone just grabbing an instrument and all drunken hell breaking loose) in the street behind the venue. I definitely want to do that again, although next time I hope I have my autoharp and we aren't moving the next day (I can't believe we turned down going to New Orleans with them. We suck!).
I would love to play a show with the guys from Wolf Parade, the Shins, Buena Vista Social Club, or David Bowie. I would probably perform stuff we collaborate on.
I would love to make a film with Michel Gondry or Miranda July. Maybe a film about a guy that rides bikes and follows people around town, making stories up about what their lives are like. Yes, he gets hit by a bus in the end. It's sad.
I would love to act in a film with Javier Bardem, Natalie Portman, Cillian Murphy, or Shirley Maclaine. Probably a drama about Bohemian Grove and a government conspiracy. With a love story and murders. I play Shirley Maclaine's son's niece or something like that.
I would love to collaborate on comic books with Adrian Tomine, Nathan Thomas Milliner, or Jamie McKelvie. It doesn't matter what we would work on...I just think they are all incredibly talented in fun, different ways.
I would love to take photographs with anyone who wants to take photos with me, famous or infamous.
So....yea. I obviously think about this a lot while I'm at work, haha.
Show us what makes you unique.
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So....
My favorite set right now is these which i unfortunately don't have a better photo of (I'm keeping this set but I may make a similar one to sell) with tiny deer and owls on them.
Last night I sat down and drafted/colored a bunch of the charms I make for the earrings (and necklaces, when applicable). I use shrinky-dinks because I like how they work in the oven (it is so fun to watch) and they are just fun to work with in general. I used to print my drawings onto them but now I handdraw everything. It adds a more personal touch, especially since I am trying to make everything ooak.
On the left, you can see the original pieces before baking. On the right you can see what they look like after baking. Most of the ones on the right were about the same size as those on the left.
close-up- i love the squids the most of all!
The finished bake.
Most of these are about the size of dimes or quarters.
I will post photos of the finished earrings as I am done with them next time around.
Here are some for sale at LOX:
And I have sold 3 there already so I need to get to work. Whew!
<3 + crinoline,
taylor
xoxo
What's your musical horoscope? (Put your player on shuffle and write down the first 10 songs that come up.)
1- This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads
2- MP3 by John Vanderslice
3- Rifle by June Madrona
4- Fireworks by Animal Collective
5- Child-Hearted Losers by Sunset Rubdown
6- Shiver by Holopaw
7- Songs for the Fields by Fields
8- La Sitiera by Omara Portuondo
9- Polka by Yves Klein Blue
10- Carousel by Beirut
So, my husband cheated on me. While it wasn't physical cheating, what I found was disgusting and inconsiderate on him part. I genuinely hate myspace now.
I have been trying to cope through this whole ordeal with our marriage's dissolution, trying to understand why this is happening to us. I have tried everything to fix our marriage and now I don't even know if I want to be married or not. I am so tired of dealing with all this.
I was sitting in my living room the other night. My husband had fallen asleep on the couch. I was working on something on my laptop and got on my myspace. When I was about to turn off the computer, I had an epiphany. I decided to check his myspace. It wasn't a conscious decision but I did it all the same. He had been receiving messages 3-4 times a day from a girl in a neighboring town. I'm not jealous but I was curious why this young girl was talking to him so much. His behavior had changed so drastically. He barely talked to me and if he did it was usually about his band or needing to work on the computer in the other room. He made no effort to work on our marriage and never really has made an effort at all. Unfortunately, her account had been hacked recently so most conversations between them were lost, but the few that were there shocked me entirely. The first message was so disgusting (and it was an ongoing conversation between them) that I was greatly appalled. The second one I saw was equally shocking, as it turned out the work he was doing in the other room involved talking to her late at night! In fact, it looked as if they talked quite a bit.
I sat there with cold realization. I'm not stupid. Whether he had been with her in person or not was irrelevant at this point. He had claimed he was attracted to me, yet wouldn't touch me hardly....yet he seemed very attracted to this young cumslut of a girl. She is absolutely disgusting of a creature and I am equally disgusted that he would even seek out someone like that. I don't know her, but her profile is so ridden with atrocities (and she's atheist, a scorpio, and so young to top it off) that even I was offended.
So, I wake his ass up.
And he tells me that was the only time they flirted, the only time they talked on AIM......which I believe is complete and utter bullshit. This is the FOURTH time this has happened in our relationship.
No wonder he didn't want to work on our marriage!
So we stayed up until 5:30am talking about it. He told me he would write her and tell her never to speak to him again (which he did, but they kept talking anyway from what I saw). He said he didn't know why he said what he said and that he wasn't attracted to her, which is proposterous. He asked me if he would go to counseling would I still be willing to work on our marriage and I said that at this point I didn't know. He has been saying he had issues and needs counseling for at least a year now. I pretty much can never trust him again. Despite my fidelity issues, they never bordered on anything sexual or physical. Not that I'm proud of that, for a feel terrible about it, but I knew where to draw the line. He never has known where to draw the line and he usually has kept the truth from me until he's accidentally let it slip later on.
So then he writes this sad post on myspace about how he broke my heart and that he's sorry he ever came into my life and hoped i could forgive him. He made this public. So I wrote him back and said it wasn't cool that he cheated on me and that his not helping fix our marriage sucked. He made the post private then. So now, all his friends and our friends have been writing him saying they are there for him and all that. Most of these people did not even talk to me. Not saying I'm a victim, but how obvious is it that they only care about him? He CHEATED on me. He does NOT want to fix our marriage (no matter how much he claims to, I know better now). So if they are making it their business, why are they acting like I have hurt him and he needs consolation?
It just really aggravates me.
So I wrote a more vague post on myspace, as always. I didn't want to do it, but I wanted people to know that it wasn't his depression causing his problems but his lying, cheating, and indecisiveness. It was unfair to use that as a scapegoat and it made people think I did things to make him not love me. He has a way of not taking responsibility for his actions. I called his grandmother because I am completely worried about his behavior and think he needs help. She said: a) i need to get him in church (he is a devout atheist), b) I need to wear slips and act sexy for him (which I did until he became a complete asshole to me and would never show me the slightest hint of affection. two years of that mess)., c)she doesn't want to meddle in his business, d)she thinks moving away from dayton (and his friends and family) caused him to cheat on me and become an atheist, e) she says I should sit him down and talk to him (which I do pretty much once a week at least because nothing has been resolved for 3 years), f) he should move down there for a while so that we'll miss each other (which would be fine if he wasn't so dependent on them and cheating on me), g)
to talk to that girl and tell her to leave my husband alone (which would be fine except that HE was the one instigating the flirtations. I think she is just that way with everyone).
So, that was pretty much useless.
So I went to my therapist and she pretty much told me he was too immature for me and that I need to get out because he is just bringing me down. I hate it because I love him, but his behavior is slowly getting worse and worse and as much as I love him and try to help him, I can't understand why he is treating me so horribly.
And if I mirror his actions, he is even meaner to me.
Is he just staying with me because we have a nice place to live? I wonder sometimes.
Now I feel like he is simply manipulating and hurting me and I can't understand why. It has been driving me crazy.
So we talked it out, and now he is saying he wants to go to counseling. I have heard this forever and now I don't know what the point is because now he pretty much doesn't care about me and has been doing all this bad stuff.
I just don't know what to do. Let go or no? It is such a hard decision to make when you love someone.
I can't even touch him without feeling that he doesn't love me. I feel it. It is a terrifying feeling to have these days.
